Compulsion

I might have a ‘problem’. I’m going to spill the beans to some people here, but in Holland I was smoking too much probably and I’m not talking about cigarettes. However, I have a rather responsible personality, so I decided going to Bulgaria would be a good opportunity to stop. So I left that behind. Days got more hours, time was better spent, energy was restored.

Besides this, there was something else. Besides having a responsible personality, I also have a rather lazy (I say: effective) personality. I do what must absolutely be done and then I go back to doing nothing. I don’t know why, but  for some reason I’ve always been getting good results for this (hence me dubbing it “effective”). Anyway, I didn’t have my placement secured just before the summer, so in the summer, and especially the two weeks before leaving, I had to do a lot. It was a moment-to-moment rush and when I came to Bulgaria I was still in that rush, minus the cannabis to calm me (and my mind) down. So I started doing a lot, arranging everything very fast and within no time I was settled.

Here comes the problem though… When I sit at home, I can’t relax. I have to do something. I realize now that this sounds similar to nicotine withdrawal (I think, anyway), which would also be it, because I didn’t smoke cigarettes, but I smoked enough to get myself a nicotine addiction.  In Holland I got rather used to not doing what I had to do, so there was always something I should be doing instead of relaxing. I have the same feeling here, but there are only a handful of things I have to do:
– Go to the bank where I opened an account, to get my card and settle some mistakes I made;
– Call my landlord to get internet at my place (I’m in a restaurant again now);
– Call an institute for languages to learn Bulgarian;
– Buy a coat, scarf and candles.
But the last thing is not so pressing, I suppose.

Maybe it’s stress, yet I don’t feel stressed now, I feel very calm. It’s only when I sit around the house that I get the feeling I have to do something. Ahh well, I’ll just fix the things on the list and see how I feel then. My prediction: the same.

A sidenote: why is it that I can’t go anywhere without getting a card… They’re coming from all directions and closing in fast captain! Just now, while typing this post, someone struck up a conversation and added another card to my collection. This contact might actually be useful though. I hate it when people give you cards directly after you’ve introducd yourselves to each other. I will not call or email you if I don’t know you. I guess that’s a lesson for me. Don’t let it get to my head when I get my own card, haha.

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2 Responses

  1. ahhh, about the non-cigarete smoking :))
    in BG it is crap, and from 1-2 years it is not even a cheap crap 😦
    internet providers come close 😛

  2. hee bas!
    How’s life in in Bulgaria.jeezus man ik dacht echt waar ga jij naartoe? Ik dacht dat je ergens anders geen zou gaan maar goed. Echt een superbasbestemming zeg maar.
    Ik blijf je blog lezen..ben benieuwd naar de avonturen!
    Ik ben minder orgineel dan jij en heb gewoon een ordinaire waarbenjij.nu (tewatha.waarbenjij.nu)
    Igg, have fun en tot in februari!
    Adios Tewatha.

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